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Horoscope

Horoscope

By ASHLEY MUÑOZ

Aries (March 21-April 19)

The stars are done giving you advice, Aries, mainly because they’ve been dead for hundreds of years.

 Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Hey Taurus, it’s never too late to get into streetwear. Don’t listen to what your family and friends say, spending $600 on sneakers is nothing. This is what you do when you want to be the best. You were born to be a hype beast.

 Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Gemini, you must delete your Twitter account. It’s getting you into a lot of trouble. No one cares about your opinions and no one cares if you’re funny, unless you’re Chrissy Teigen.

 Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Stop looking up your dreams on dream interpreter websites, Cancer. They aren’t supposed to make any sense. Just like “Donnie Darko.”

 Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

People laugh at you, Leo, because your favorite book is “Catcher in the Rye” and your favorite movie is “Joe Dirt.” Just because you have a mullet doesn’t mean you’re allowed to openly talk about how great you think “Joe Dirt” is.

 Virgo (Aug. 23- Sept. 22)

The stars will only be in your favor, Virgo, if you stop being selfish and give me $20. You can find me in the West Campus cafeteria. First floor, Santa Catalina building. See you soon.

 Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Libra, you need to stop getting drunk on weekdays. You can’t steal the Declaration of Independence. You can only borrow it.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Stop calling your ex, Scorpio. This isn’t a Drake song.

 Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Hey Sagittarius, here’s some advice. Stop ruining people’s lives. Everyone will surely appreciate it.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

You’re not going to pass your classes if you sleep in, Capricorn. Do you want to stay here forever? I didn’t think so. Get it together, asshole.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You’ve been feeling stressed, Aquarius. It’s time for you to unwind, drink wine and cry while binge-watching “Naked and Afraid.”

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

You feel like no one understands you and I get it, but stop Googling your astrological compatibility with Joe Biden. He’s married.

Horoscope

Horoscope

By DAKOTA FINCHER

 Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Don’t be shy. Strut your stuff and leave everyone else dead in the water. Use the fish in your sign to help with this. Did you know Rhianna is a fellow Pisces?

 Aries (March 21-April 19)

Life is all about making memories, so do something outright crazy. It’s college for a reason, right? Make it your goal to have a wild story to one day tell your kids or, if you’re more of an animal person, your cats. I don’t judge.

 Taurus (April 20-May 20)

You and I both know you need to go shopping. Go ahead, I support you. It’s OK. Don’t stress about the bills. They can wait, trust me. Don’t think about it too much.

 Gemini (May 21-June 21)

Don’t get yourself into anything you can’t talk your smooth self out of over Spring Break. Just keep the good times coming.

 Cancer (June 22-July 22)

Make wise choices over Spring Break. Y’all are not together for a reason, remember that. Who needs this more? You or me?

 Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

So what if they left you on read? Go out and make ‘em blow up your phone, but don’t respond. Petty, I like that.

 Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Listen, let go of whatever is holding you back. Some serious “you” time is overdue. I’m talking about some TLC, face masks. Better yet, listen to “I’m out, by Ciara.” Even better, put up a Instagram post in something new. Whatever makes you happy.

 Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Three words to describe your Spring Break: Young. Wild. Free. Just don’t take it too far. Your liver and life will thank you later.

 Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov.21)

Is it beer before liquor or liquor before beer? Find out for us.

 Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec.21)

Something spontaneous sounds fun. Go backpacking or read a new book. The possibilities are endless. The world is your oyster.

 Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan.19)

As hard as it sounds, don’t plan this one. Go with the flow and let the current take you. When you’re too busy planning, you could miss out.

 Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Remember that one night, yeah, the one there’s no speaking of? Avoid. Fireball. It’s OK … me too.

HOROSCOPE

HOROSCOPE

By DANIELLA CAMPUZANO

Aquarius (Jan. 20- Feb. 18)

Focus on yourself this year. Do the best you can with what’s expected of you. This is a good time to do some research and explore more education. Of course, you may need to take risk but it’ll be worth it.

Pisces (Feb. 19- March 20)

Your sense of humor will make your honey fall more in love with you every day. Be honest with each other, and smile.

Aries (March 21- April 19)

You might want to try something new today. A new adventure will come your way very soon. Be patient, and try not to push yourself too much.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

I can see you’re spicing things up. With everything going on today, you’ll be lucky. Trust me, I promise. Do something fun and creative.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Here you go redecorating again, Gemini. If you aren’t redecorating, you are refurnishing or just cleaning. Put everything down, and go buy yourself a heart-shaped pizza.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

You may have a lot of errands to run today, which means you will come into contact with some very unusual people. Take some chocolates. You’ll need them.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

As a result of everything happening in your life, stop making plans and just go with the flow. Don’t think about it too much. Remember, you only live once. 

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You will be full of energy, so get into in touch with an old friend and arrange a coffee date. You may enjoy it so much that you’ll make it a weekly event.

Libra (Sept. 23. -Oct. 22)

Memories are going through your mind today. This is good–you’re releasing old obstacles. By the end of the day … Wait, what memories again?

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Try to avoid temptations and arguments today. Problems will be resolved soon. Today is a great day to get some coffee and enjoy alone time.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

This month will be very overwhelming for you. Don’t let anything get in your way. Obstacles will come and go. Do what you please and feel free to leave early if you’re not thrilled.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Take an exotic trip with a group of friends. A little adventure could do you some good. Go to a music festival or even a rave, and let loose. Don’t think about anything, just do it.

HOROSCOPE

HOROSCOPE

By ERIK MEDINA

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Don’t be basic! If you’re single, do things you’re not used to, have fun. In a relationship? Spice things up! Try sushi with your partner.

Pisces (Feb.19-March 20)

Didn’t get a New Year’s kiss? Don’t get too excited, you probably won’t get a Valentine’s Day kiss either. Sorry.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

We’ve all had desperate times. Can’t get rid of a clinger from Tinder? Remember, when in doubt, “New number, who dis?”

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Don’t focus too much on your romantic relationship, but more on your friendships. Your friends have been there through your ups and downs. Appreciate it.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Fries before guys. Sisters before misters. Mates before dates. Pals over gals.

Cancer (June 21- July 22)

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to watch “Fifty Shades Darker” alone. Just in case, though, bring a friend or take the book. Say it’s for book club.

Leo (July 23- Aug. 22)

You might not have found the “one” yet but that’s OK. Don’t rush into things. Would you rather pick up 10 pennies from the ground or one dime?

Virgo (Aug. 23- Sept. 22)

Relationships are overrated, so stick to pets. We know you’ve closed the door to force your pets to spend time with you. Don’t worry, you’re not alone.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Feeling blindsided on what to do for Valentine’s Day? Have you ever heard of Pinterest?

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

When planning a romantic evening, it’s the thought that counts. However, making ramen, pouring it into a bowl and serving it to your date does not qualify as a fancy meal.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec 21)

Being single isn’t as bad as it’s put out to be. That’s why there’s Netflix. Binge watch a series and eat food. That will mend your lonely heart.

 Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan 19)

Date someone outside of your circle. Be aware, however, that artists aren’t always the best choice. If you break up, they make something out of the experience. Your pain is their path to becoming famous and rich.

HOROSCOPE

HOROSCOPE

Editor’s note: Each quote is from social critic Christopher Hitchens. Dec. 15 marks the fifth anniversary of his death.

By S. PAUL BRYAN

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec 21

“Alcohol makes other people less tedious, and food less bland, and can help provide what the Greeks called entheos, or the slight buzz of inspiration when reading or writing.”

Well, you can’t argue with that.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan 19)

“Take the risk of thinking for yourself, much more happiness, truth, beauty, and wisdom will come to you that way.”

No one is the boss of you but you, Capricorn. Take the bull by the horns. Call your own shots.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

“How ya doin’?” I always think, What kind of a question is that?, and I always reply, “A bit early to tell.”

Ain’t that the damn truth!

Pisces (Feb.19-March 20)

“Beware what you wish for, unless you have the grace to hope that your luck can be shared.”

Wisdom. Take it. Use it.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

“There is nothing more; but I want nothing more.”

Aries, if you will simply accept that there really, truly is nothing else you’ll find that you make the most of all you have now.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

“I became a journalist partly so that I wouldn’t ever have to rely on the press for my information.”

Don’t believe everything you read, Taurus.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

“There can be no progress without head-on confrontation.”

Progress and force dead-weight knuckle-draggers to progress with you.

Cancer (June 21- July 22)

“You have to choose your future regrets.”

Choose wisely, Cancer, choose wisely.

Leo (July 23- Aug. 22)

“Exceptional claims demand exceptional evidence.”

Leo, don’t buy all the BS that folks try to sell you. Call them on it, demand the facts.

Virgo (Aug. 23- Sept. 22)

“Cheap booze is a false economy.”

Think on it, Virgo. Drink on it. Then wake up and think on it again.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

“Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that’s where it should stay.”

That’s right Libra. You may have a story to tell but that doesn’t mean the rest of us want to read about it.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

“There either is a god or there is not; there is a ‘design’ or not.”

Come on Scorpio, drop that baggage. Use some common sense and allow yourself to continue along evolution’s path for you.

Horoscope: Nov. 10-23

Horoscope: Nov. 10-23

By DAVID PUJOL

 Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Friendship is important, Scorpio, but please stop being psychotic. Instead of worrying about your friends, listen to them and be thankful for the changing of the autumn leaves.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec 21)

Your looks are the least of your worries, Sagittarius. Instead of worrying about your sense of style, be thankful for that one time you were the line leader in second grade.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan 19)

Capricorn, the world is a dangerous place and always will be. Instead of worrying about your safety 24/7, be thankful for the fact that you are breathing and still alive.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Aquarius, instead of worrying about what other people think of your hair, clothes or beliefs, just be thankful for that time you called your pet by its name and it actually came to you.

Pisces (Feb.19-March 20)

Pisces, you worry too much about those you love. They will be OK. Instead of worrying, be thankful for that one time your parents let you play hooky when it snowed.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

You need to take some “you” time, Aries. Take a class, do some yoga or find some other form of self-care. Relax and love yourself. Be thankful for people who get their desired results on a pregnancy test.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

You may be very unsure of what you want in your love life or school or career, Taurus, but it’s OK. You’ll figure it out. Instead of being concerned with that, be thankful for that one perfect song to which you know all the lyrics.

 Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Life may be confusing and your future may just seem like a daydream, Gemini, but you are going places. Be thankful for the setting sun creating a masterpiece of a sunset in our Arizona sky.

 Cancer (June 21- July 22)

Cancer, you may be sad but that isn’t a new feeling. You are stronger than you know. Smile, laugh, create and be thankful for that someone who can make you laugh when things get tough.

Leo (July 23- Aug. 22)

The semester might be kicking your ass, Leo, but you can do this. Your GPA won’t matter in 30 years, so try not to give it more than 30 minutes of worry now. Instead, be thankful for the feeling you get when you’ve accomplished a lot.

Virgo (Aug. 23- Sept. 22)

Virgo, success will happen. Just give it time. Instead of worrying about when you’ll make it, be thankful for the fact that modern medicine has cured so many awful diseases.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Now is not the time for an identity crisis or a full mental breakdown, Libra. Pull it together instead of worrying about your self-image. Be thankful for the answer pages in the back of some textbooks.

Horoscope

Horoscope

By D.R. WILLIAMS

Aries

(March 21-April 19)

You’re always moving at hyper speed. Take time to acknowledge your greatness, but keep your spunk and never quit smiling.

Taurus

(April 20-May 20)

Although your head may be in the clouds, stay grounded and work hard. The payoff is about to hit you in the face.

Gemini

(May 21-June 21)

Take it easy on those closest to you: They are they to support you. Try to put a smile on because the happy you is the best you.

Cancer

(June 22-July 22)

The Force is strong with you. Never let them tell you the odds, but don’t get cocky. Be mindful of the future but not at the expense of the moment.

Leo

(July 23-Aug. 22)

You’re fit to be king of the jungle but not by catnapping your life away. Remember Simba had to “look inside” himself before he became king. Give that a try, Leo.

Virgo

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Jedi mind tricks work only on the weak-minded, but don’t be discouraged; someone loves you.

Libra

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Learn to let go of your self-doubt. You’re a pro at helping others achieve their dreams, but the biggest obstacles we have to climb are the ones we put in front of ourselves. Start helping yourself as much as you help others.

Scorpio

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Trust yourself and embrace your powers. Continue to do what got you here because those who doubt you will be put in their place in good time.

Sagittarius

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

No matter the darkness, always try to find the light. You will meet your mark due to your eagle-like focus.

Capricorn

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Everyone has an opinion, but you usually have two. Continue speaking your mind, no matter how sick of it we all are.

Aquarius

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You seem to be spinning your wheels, but it will pay off. As the Red Hot Chili Peppers say, “destruction leads to a very rough road, but it also breeds creation.”

Pisces

(Feb. 19-March 20)

Being so crazy deserves some recognition, but don’t alienate the ones you depend on most. “There’s always a bigger fish.”

HOROSCOPES

HOROSCOPES

By MICHEAL ROMERO

Aries (March 21-April 19)

“Did you see that ruca? She looks just like Salinas!” Bust out the “Washer Machine” and all of your dad’s Selena albums.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

“What’d you say about my mama? You feel sorry for who?” Add King Kendrick’s new album to your playlist and get caught up in delinquent-type activities. You’re a rebel.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

“Are y’all throwing a party? There’s rumors … in the Twittersphere.” Throw a party and bump “Gas Pedal” by Sage the Gemini all night. It’s still a banger.

Cancer (June 21- July 22)

“But you ain’t got no legs Lt. Dan!” Go for a run. Wear a reflective vest so you don’t get run over. Play “Free Bird” and begin your run at the end of the song where it gets all fast.

Leo (July 23- Aug. 22)

“A king’s time as ruler rises and falls like the sun.” Take charge of a situation and show everyone who is boss. Listen to “Circle of Life” and eat an antelope … or maybe just a cantaloupe.

Virgo (Aug. 23- Sept. 22)

“Allow nothing to be in your life that you cannot walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner.” Time for Spring cleaning. Purge the excess in your life with songs by DJ Shadow as the soundtrack.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

“The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, ‘What about the strain on our resources?’” Make sure you’re registered to vote and bump “We’re Not Gonna Take It” by Twisted Sister in the process.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

“Thunder always comes after lightning, ka-chow!” Go fast and go hard. You’re invincible. Listen to “Kickstart My Heart” by Motley Crue in the car really loud.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec 21)

“Mohammed is the most commonly used name on Earth, read a F-ing book for once!” Get a good read in during your spare time. Listen to jazz without vocals, like some Stan Getz tracks.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan 19)

“I’ve never had one before … What a room to yourself? A bed.” You’re tired and need to sleep. Play ocean sounds or ambient Brian Eno music while you nap and reflect on all that you have.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

“So you’re a killer? Let me see your war face!” Go aggressive with your workout and yell really loud at the gym as you finish sets. Play the Full Metal Jacket soundtrack like you’re training for Vietnam.

Pisces (Feb.19-March 20)

“You’re a wizard, Harry.” There’s magic in the air, so be magical. Play “Rude” by MAGIC! because that song is still sweet.

Horoscope

Horoscope

By S. PAUL BRYAN

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

“My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.” – Joan Rivers

Aquarius, you’re not what they’d call a looker. Hit the gym or make a cosmetic surgery appointment. Either way, love is not in your forecast.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

“Love is a promise delivered already broken.”

– Steve Martin

You will never live up to the standards of your partner, and your partner will never reach your unrealistic ideal. You lie too often in your honeymoon stage. I implore you to simply give up.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

“My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield

You’re going to ruin your life and someone else’s. Reflect upon the ramifications of halting the progression of another human being’s life.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

“A kiss may ruin a human life.” – Oscar Wilde

Before you go throwing your lips all over whomever will let you, think of the life you might be ruining. The life may be your own.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

“I used to love her, but I had to kill her.”

– Axl Rose

O.J. Simpson loved somebody. Kurt Cobain was in Love, too. Robert Blake and Sid Vicious were madly in love. Gemini, this Valentine’s Day you should stay out of love … and out of prison.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

“Must be another one she loves”

– Mac DeMarco

Cancer, are you sitting down? Your loved one is cheating on you. Hell, your little angel has been cheating throughout your relationship. Sure, you could find someone else, but the stars are in line with Jupiter, so this will only happen again.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

“My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.”

– Garry Shandling

Leo, your new nickname is The Iron Curtain. I’d tell you to open up, but the stars won’t have it. You’re a danger to all hearts. Do us a favor on Feb. 14: stay home and watch Netflix.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

“You can be married and bored, or single and lonely. Ain’t no happiness nowhere.”

– Chris Rock

Sorry, Virgo. You’re screwed, no, not in a good way. The alignment of Saturn’s moons won’t allow any passion for you. You’re destined for romantic dissatisfaction, indefinitely.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

“You can never be wise and be in love at the same time.” – Bob Dylan

Do you desire wisdom or love? Both the setting of Venus and Mr. Dylan say you can’t have both. Make a choice: smart or stupid. Your call.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

“Got my mojo working, but it just won’t work on you” – Muddy Waters

You’re a cool cat. Unfortunately, the one you want doesn’t want you. The stars tell me your plight has to do with Uranus. You’re going to be a sad and lonely little kitten this Valentine’s Day.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx

Who knows (other than me, of course) whether you’ll experience love. The planets are definite, however, that no one loves you now. You have zero chance of getting any late-night romance.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

“Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.” – Hunter S. Thompson

Capricorn, you’re not satisfying anyone with your current actions. Stop giving it up to everyone who strolls by. The stars will eventually align in your favor.

Fall 2015 Issue 8 Horoscope

Fall 2015 Issue 8 Horoscope

by MICKEY LAMB

 

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Your pace may be a bit more than the world is ready for, Aries. Have you thought about giving the mountain a slow climb? It may allow you time to reflect on your purpose, as well as save you in aspirin costs.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Taurus, everybody loves a generous host. As you stampede through this season with your holiday herd, provide liberal luxury unto your loved ones. You may find your confidantes better company than your wealth.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

If something doesn’t look right upon first glance, Gemini, get a second set of eyes on the target. Your gifted gaze and Sagittarius’ skilled shot make for one accomplished association.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

Cancer, your mood has as many shifts and turns as the moon that guides it. Consistency isn’t just a legend on your road map, it’s the roadmap to your legend. Moving latterly as you walk the shores would be a crabwise decision.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Make an attempt to not let your pride cloud your judgment, Leo. Many will seek your council, so don’t be afraid to tell someone you don’t have the answers. Giving poor advice is worse than giving no advice at all.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept.22)

Virgo, you could gain from allowing your passion to take you when and where it will. Keeping your wits about you has always kept you safe but holding back on your emotions will hold you back as well.  Live a little, give in.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Well-balanced decisions lead to a well balanced lifestyle, Libra.  Avoid decisions that will weigh on your conscience. Tipping the scales in either direction could prove disastrous, calibrate appropriately.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov.21)

It’s your turn to feel the sting, Scorpio. All who’ve gotten close enough to you have fallen victim to your poisonous intentions.  Asserting your dominance may not be in your best interest for once.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec.21)

You’ve remained sharp as an arrow and still manage to maintain your free spirit.  Your partner may wish to tighten the reigns on your relationship. Show them why so many fall under Jupiter’s orbit. Break their will as they wish to break yours.

Capricorn (Dec.22-Jan. 19)

Your ambition to rule over others will be your undoing. Not until you learn to allow others to live as they wish will you ever find yourself at their court. Leave judgment upon the fates and find yourself butting heads less often.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb.18)

Why do you fear taking charge, Aquarius? You watch as the world around you crumbles, yet you sit idly by. Only you can unite all under one banner. You have been called upon for your unorthodox measures.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Pisces, your creativity has been wasting away as of late. With all of your foresight you only forecast visions of doom.  Use that creativity and passion for love to illustrate a beautiful future for you and those around you, and marvel in your premonitions.

Horoscope November 12-25

Horoscope November 12-25

by MICKEY RAY LAMB

Aries (March 21- April 19) 

If you were thrifty last week, you should have no problem treating a loved one to a night out. If you gave into temptation, don’t sweat it. The chance will present itself later in the week, after you get your finances in order.

Taurus (April 20- May 20) 

You’ve set the bar pretty high when it comes to lush living. Your expensive taste may have you feeling the burn in your pocket book. Listening to your friends for ideas on how to pass the time may prove to be rewarding, and cheaper.

Gemini (May 21- June 21) 

With last week’s self-doubt behind you, don’t be afraid to throw your weight around this week. If there’s anything you have been holding back from those closest to you, now is the time to let them have it. Your happiness comes first.

Cancer (June 22- July 22) 

Last week’s full moon either gave you the wisdom you needed to solve all your problems, or find new ones altogether. Don’t stress focusing on the tangible, for that never was your domain. Grasp for those often overlooked, unattainable goals, plural.  Why settle for achieving the impossible when you can perfect it?

Leo (July 23- Aug. 22) 

Releasing the reins during last week’s full moon gave you just the break you needed to recharge your spirit. Utilize this energy by actively leading your peers by promoting a sense of unity as a whole.

Virgo (Aug. 23- Sept. 22)

Your knack for assessing situations may be muddled this week as you help a friend or loved one.  Don’t forget to take a moment for yourself to find your ground. A brief interlude from the fast pace of the week may be just what your mind needs to keep your wits.

Libra (Sept. 23- Oct. 22) 

You don’t have to be an expert at anything to be an expert in general.  Take these next few weeks to showcase your wisdom and talents. Don’t be a spectator watching a laborer build a wall. Be the mortar.

Scorpio (Oct. 23- Nov. 22)

It’s about high time you made your presence felt. Assert yourself, aggress yourself, don’t let up until everybody within earshot of a supernova knows who you are and what you are capable of at half speed. When no one’s looking crank that biatch up to ramming speed. Don’t confuse creeping in the shadows with being dark and mysterious.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23- Dec. 21) 

You may find your aim slipping these next few weeks. Keep yourself sharp by staying busy physically and mentally. Read a book, learn a skill. Hell, read a book about learning a skill.

Capricorn (Dec. 22- Jan. 19) 

Instead of nagging your peers with ways they can improve their life try to find a constructive way to give feedback. Who wants to take advice from somebody with a cruel tongue? It’s not so much what you say but how you say it. Try to use a little finesse.

Aquarius (Jan. 20- Feb. 18) 

You may be having second thoughts concerning a financial matter or a major decision. This is just you overthinking things. Simplify matters and you’ll find the answers that you seek.

Pisces (Feb. 19- March 20) 

You can’t go through life waiting for the day somebody gets drunk enough to like you for who you think they want you to be. Try being yourself, throw a few opinions out there and you just might find yourself with a ride home before last call, breakfast included, but only if you’re good.

Horoscope

Horoscope

by S.J. BARAJAS

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Halloween’s here and you’re the type of person that waits to the last minute for a costume. Nothing that cardboard and duct tape can’t fix!

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

When it comes to costumes you should venture away from the conventional and go with the quirky. Buy a Netflix shirt and grab an ice chest you’ll be ready for a night of Netflix ‘n’ Chill.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

You may be feeling frisky and have a sexy costume picked out Gemini. Remember that just because you can do it, doesn’t mean you should. Maybe put away the sexy potato outfit.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

So you think your Game of Thrones costume is pretty snazzy, going to go find a Khalessi of your own I presume. Well you know nothing Jon Snow.

Leo (July 23-August 22)

Leo, I would be lion if I said that I would spend Halloween night with you. You’re the type to steal all the good candy I’ll be watching you like a hawk dressed as an Avenger.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

This is it Virgo, the perfect chance to show everyone how awesome your months of planning for this most auspicious night! Too bad Halloween is just one night.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

The devil is in the details your Lucifer costume is demonically delicious. Pray that your soul doesn’t pay the price for such blasphemy!

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Just dress as Dwayne Johnson from the Scorpion King or just a rock, either way you’re covered.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

While people are dressing as sexy witches you’ll be putting your invisibility cloak on and brandishing your poorly drawn lightning scar. Your costume is not very Accio!

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

There’s a good chance that you’ve come up with an extremely specific costume that no one is going to get. Have fun explaining who you are all night especially to all the sexy potatoes.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

How many times are you going to use the same generic pirate costume? Nobody likes Jack Sparrow anymore and the fact that you bought it at party city makes us all sad.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

I would recommend a reverse mermaid costume. Human part on the bottom and fishy part up top, you’ll be the sexiest costume at all the parties.

Horoscope Oct. 15-28

Horoscope Oct. 15-28

by AUDRIE FORD

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Coconut water is the drink you need to keep your spirits high. You’re humorous and passionate. It makes people love being around you, but don’t forget to use your creative abilities for yourself too.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Get a glass of green tea to help relax after all the listening you’ve done this week. Everyone knows that you’re the shoulder to lean on Taurus.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

Chai tea is great iced or hot, mirroring your fluctuating moods. A classic drink, which will help soothe you after time spent adapting to new situations. Remember, your charisma is infectious.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

You’re loyal and love tradition, this week is a perfect opportunity for you to find a new beginning. Try watermelon lemonade the next time you feel like you need alone time.

Leo (July 23-August 22)

Leo’s are leaders, but don’t be too bossy.  Frustration with others signals that it’s time for a break. Treat yourself to a mango milk tea when your generosity is draining you.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Virgos are curious and always ready for adventure. Try something exciting these upcoming weeks and don’t stress. A Shirley Temple is the break you need

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Rebalance yourself with an Arnold Palmer and strive to keep realistic goals.  Come out of your shell and talk to someone new once you’ve revived your spirits.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Don’t be afraid to open up this week. Be sure to grab a friend and try out your own syrup mixtures in an Italian soda.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Deep thinking can give you a headache if you don’t take a break and enjoy yourself. Iron rich mixed green juice will focus your energy so that you don’t lose sight of deadlines.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Capricorns take time to listen to others, but sometimes forget to take care of themselves. Try a raspberry spritzer, listen to your favorite song and finish an important task.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

While looking for a new way to tackle the situations, reconnect with your inner philosopher with an oolong tea. Don’t relax too much though, or those deadlines might creep up on you.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Don’t be too cautious, and never be afraid to ask for the things you want. Never forget that you’re victorious in your own way. Celebrate things with a pineapple cooler so that the change of seasons doesn’t bring you down.

Horoscope

Horoscope

By ALYSSA RAMER

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Aries, you will probably get really angry sometime this month, and ask too many questions. But, you are smart, and and want to learn new things.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Tauruses are creative but stubborn and bull-headed. You like to show affection in weird ways, like torturing the cat.

Gemini (May 21 – June 21)

Gemini you are forgetful, and occasionally disorganized. You will probably think your keys are in your bag as you close the door and lock yourself out of the house. You may run out of gas at the end of your street. Who knows?

Cancer (June 22 – July 22)

Cancers are hardworking people. You like technical things and math. You are passionate, and may be too loud in settings, like court.

Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22)

Leo, you are silly but can be a hard worker. It takes a long time to motivate you.

Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)

Virgos will be critical at times, but can be very loving. You will bicker with others often.

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)

Libra, you will probably be stubborn and hard to influence but you cause others to do crazy things like ride roller coasters when they are afraid of heights.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)

You aren’t comfortable telling other people stuff. You usually won’t say anything and let people assume things, like you’re single when you actually have a girlfriend. Dick move.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)

Sagittarius you are a good friend but don’t communicate everything. You could be clearer, like telling us you found another ride home before you just leave, ok Evan.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)

You are a fun person to talk to, despite people making fun of your quirks. The cliché of 15 cats applies to you.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)

You are a hard worker, and are very positive. You can be a little ditzy at times, but so are Gemini on occasion so it’s ok.

Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20)

You are readily upset and prone to joke around in the office while others keep working.

Horoscope

Horoscope

Logo---Horoscope

By VALERIE TURCIOS

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

It’s your time to shine Virgo, but it doesn’t feel that way. Even though you have had negative energy in the past, open up your heart and get out there! Now is the time to listen to the guidance of those around you. Allow them to mend that broken heart. With your new positive energy people will be drawn to you, and bring major opportunities your way.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Do your own thing! Stop letting others tell you what to do. Unless it’s your mother, don’t be rude. Feed the soul by finding what you’re passionate about, and fight for it. Start connecting with different people, especially those that will help you be a better you. Libra, allow yourself to be strong and believe that you can achieve whatever you set your mind to.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Feeling disappointed in yourself lately? As hectic as life can be you always manage to stay productive. Connecting with new people is sure to open new doors for you. Reach inside and bring back that confidence that has been missing from your life. Always push yourself and reach for the stars! As little as you may think you are Scorpio, remember how mighty a sting can be.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Things are going pretty well for you Sagittarius. You have a busy life and you stay active. Just don’t forget to relax and let loose. Stop working so much! While you indulge in some much needed R&R and you daydream about being Beyonce you should also explore your spiritual side. What drives you? There may be new opportunities on the horizon.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Capricorn, you may be enjoying all that structure in your life at the moment, but don’t be afraid to change direction. It may be hard, but take a chance and explore other opportunities. Get in touch with your true feelings, so you can get out of that comfort zone. It’s probably a good idea to leave others outside of your plans. They will just get in your way. Schedule some alone time to clear your thoughts and form a new path that can lead to incredible things.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Feeling excited Aquarius? You are a joy to be around and people are taking notice. Use this energy to your advantage and put yourself out there. That contact list has been looking a little dull. Find someone who shares your same interests or ideas and build something together. If you have a great idea, act on it! You never know where it might take you.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Has your hectic schedule been too much to handle? Take a deep breath Pisces, because you can do it! You have been working hard lately and showing your true potential, but all work and no play is not what you signed up for. Get social! Build new relationships and go out and have some fun. You’ve earned it.

Aries (March 21- April 19)

I bet you really feel in your element this month. Now is the time to find what you love, light a match and set fire to your ideas in a good way. Don’t be afraid to take a risk and stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong. Look at it as a fresh start. Let go of everything holding you back. Use those horns Aries, and power through!

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Taurus, you are looking toward a positive change. In order for that to occur, you have to surround yourself with positive people. Be careful with your words, for those who are silently out to get you. They can interfere with your plans for change. Although, surely you will not let your opinion go unnoticed. You know what you want and won’t stop until you get it.

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

As we all know Gemini, there is always change in your life. It’s time for a new beginning and time to show your worth. Never settle! You’re talented, charming and very intelligent. Share your wisdom with those around you. They are sure to love what you’re dishing out. Communication is what you do best, but remember not to overdo it. We wouldn’t want our little chatty Cathy to lose sight of what is really important.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

Cancer, you have lots of fire in you. At the start of a new semester that’s a good thing. You want to learn as much as you can and explore your options. Maybe sign up for a new course? Just be careful and try not to spread yourself too thin. Always remember to speak your truth while treating your peers with respect.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

You have big dreams Leo. What’s stopping you from achieving those dreams? If you’re feeling inspired, take charge of your life and expand it. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Talk to your peers, for they may give you good ideas. The universe is working hard, sending you many signals. It’s your choice to read them. Climbing the ladder to success is not an easy task. It will take lots of courage.