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CRACKING WISE: In our rude times, try being kind

CRACKING WISE: In our rude times, try being kind

By DAVID MENDEZ I’m tired. Sick and tired. I’m tired of hearing it, seeing it, reading it. I’m just plain done with it. This national obsession with rude, insulting, angry language has to stop. I realize that makes me sound old-fashioned. In reality, I realize that society evolves, pushes boundaries and displaces previously-held social norms. […]

CRACKING WISE: What a drag it is getting old

CRACKING WISE: What a drag it is getting old

By DAVID MENDEZ I’ve found that the worst thing (so far) about getting old isn’t aging. Apparently, so long as I keep my face cleanly shaved, I’ll get carded anywhere I go. What’s awful about aging is knowing that some of the smaller skills I developed growing up are now completely useless. A few weeks […]

CRACKING WISE: Ron Paul is crazy in love

CRACKING WISE: Ron Paul is crazy in love

By DAVID MENDEZ aztecpress@pima.edu The Libertarian-leaning, Republican crackpot Ron Paul is finally getting legitimate press as a presidential candidate, and I couldn’t be any happier about it.  For the uninitiated, I’ll sum up the 76-year-old U.S. representative from Texas in one sentence: Ron Paul loves the United States Constitution. If it were a woman, he’d […]

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TOP 10: Ways to say ‘I love you’ with guy friends near

By RYAN TSARSIS aztecpress@pima.edu 1. Thank you for making me that sandwich. 2.  Can you bring me a beer… please? 3.  You look very pretty in that apron. 4.  Have you seen my chewing tobacco? 5. Why are you staring at me that way? 6. I’m glad you’re letting the guys come over tonight. 7. […]

CRACKING WISE: Looking back to look forward

CRACKING WISE: Looking back to look forward

BY DAVID MENDEZ aztecpress@pima.edu   It’s summer, and the end of the school year is all but upon us. It’s a time to look forward – to longer hours at work, to new classes and to shorter vacations than you’d like. Personally, I like to take this time to look back at my body of […]

CRACKING WISE: The demise of Myspace

CRACKING WISE: The demise of Myspace

BY DAVID MENDEZ aztecpress@pima.edu Hey, remember Myspace? You may be asking, “Who cares about Myspace anymore? I certainly don’t.” You’re not alone, people who talk to yourselves in the cafeteria. I can’t remember the last time I logged in. After all, I’m not a porn star or a rapper desperate for attention. I’m also not […]

CRACKING WISE: We're all Vidiots

CRACKING WISE: We’re all Vidiots

By DAVID MENDEZ aztecpress@pima.edu Apparently, nostalgia is in vogue — again. This summer, MTV is bringing back Beavis and Butthead, dragging the poorly drawn teenagers back from the graveyard of cancelled cartoons. MTV’s Viacom sibling Nickelodeon, for its part, will re-air its grunge-era classics this fall in a late-night block known as “The ‘90s is […]

Cracking Wise Life is like Bejeweled: look for the gems

Cracking Wise Life is like Bejeweled: look for the gems

By DAVID MENDEZ aztecpress@pima.edu I came to a realization this week: Life is like Bejeweled. Let’s back up a bit. I’ve always considered myself to be a gamer. That kind of comes with the territory of having a Super Nintendo before being in kindergarten. Since then, I’ve spent a fair amount of time with hunks […]

CRACKING WISE: I’m too young for marriage

CRACKING WISE: I’m too young for marriage

By DAVID MENDEZ aztecpress@pima.edu I’m getting to that age when I’m starting to see a good number of my peers, both from high school and college, getting married and having kids — legitimate ones, mind you. None of this “out of wedlock in high school” nonsense that’s so popular on MTV shows these days. I […]

CRACKING WISE: Back to analog

CRACKING WISE: Back to analog

By DAVID MENDEZ aztecpress@pima.edu I’m writing this column on a typewriter. No, my computer’s not broken. No, I don’t pretentiously believe that owning a typewriter makes me a better writer. No, I’m not trying to be the next Hunter S. Thompson — driving to Vegas on mescaline doesn’t appeal to me. This is about the […]

TOP 10: Worst ways to get dumped on V-Day

TOP 10: Worst ways to get dumped on V-Day

By DARCY ARIZMENDI 1. You receive an instant message that says “BTW wii R thru T.T jk (-:”. 2. Your partner fakes his or her own death. 3. You go to the ATM and no longer have a bank account. 4. Getting invited to watch the film “Blue Valentine.” 5. Since you never check your […]

CRACKING WISE: Proposed bill a perfect zero

CRACKING WISE: Proposed bill a perfect zero

By DAVID MENDEZ Up in Phoenix, our state legislature has yet again proposed that we arm students and teachers on our college campuses. House Bill 2001, sponsored by State Rep. Jack Harper, R-Surprise, would allow university and community college faculty to carry weapons on campus, so long as they have a valid concealed weapons permit. […]

CRACKING WISE: This zombie craze must have meaning

CRACKING WISE: This zombie craze must have meaning

 By DAVID MENDEZ aztecpress@pima.edu   In our society, everything makes a comeback eventually.  It happens with our fashion (fitted “vintage” T-shirts). It happens with our movies. (Name an ‘80s cartoon that hasn’t had a movie yet this decade, and I’ll tell you what you’ll be watching in theaters next July.) It even happens with our […]

Top 10 reasons it’s cool to be a nerd

Top 10 reasons it’s cool to be a nerd

  By MYLO ERICKSON aztecpress@pima.edu Being a nerd gives you a lot of time to think, and I mean a lot of time. As I was sitting in my computer chair staring at my wall of Minnesota Twins stuff and enjoying some Cheetos… mmm orange fingers, oh, and drinking Diet Mountain Dew, I managed to […]

CRACKING WISE: Celebrate geekiness

CRACKING WISE: Celebrate geekiness

By DAVID MENDEZ aztecpress@pima.edu There’s nothing worse than a screaming fanboy, Pima. A few of you may be unfamiliar with that term, but I guarantee that you know at least one fanboy (or fangirl — I’m all about being inclusive here.) For example, look at people who own both a MacBook and an iPhone 4. […]