RSSAll Entries in the "Humor" Category

Pretty Tied Up: How do I set personal limitations?

Pretty Tied Up: How do I set personal limitations?

By S. PAUL BRYAN Dear Mr. Bryan: What are “limits” when talking about BDSM? I’m open to trying it with my ever-persistent girlfriend but I don’t know anything about it. She keeps telling me, “Don’t worry, we’ll both have limits that we will follow.” –“Limited” Melissa Dear Limited: Your girlfriend is right, there are limits […]

TOP 10  How to V-Day the singles’ way

TOP 10 How to V-Day the singles’ way

By MICKEY RAY LAMB With Valentine’s Day approaching many Pima Community College students and faculty are busy making reservations for romantic dinners, buying gifts for their main squeeze and conditioning themselves to go the full 12 rounds. With all the buzz our society gives these romantic excursions it is not difficult to see why some […]

Hip-hop holograms haunting Pima

Hip-hop holograms haunting Pima

By SHANA ROSE The creators who brought Tupac “2Pac” Shakur back from the grave at Coachella 2012, San Diego-based business AV Concepts, will soon be bringing their “Dead Hip-Hop Tour” to Pima Community College. The tour is sponsored by Andre “Dr. Dre” Romelle Young and is scheduled to make stops at universities and colleges that […]

Pima growers go international

Pima growers go international

By MICHAEL ANDERSON After scoring a historic upset at the National Indoor Championships, The Pima Community College Hydroponics Club is headed to the 2014 International Cannabis Cup in Holland. The club took home the gold medal after defeating more celebrated teams from Oaksterdam University, the University of Colorado, and Harvard Medical School. The Nationals were […]

STOMPING GROUNDS: Circle K is king of convenience

STOMPING GROUNDS: Circle K is king of convenience

By ANDREW PAXTON Its 3 a.m., you are hungry, thirsty, and tired. Your car also needs a quart of oil, your cat needs food and there is a new movie on DVD you really want to see. Why isn’t there a store on every corner of Tucson that can solve all those problems while only […]

Creed resurrects music

Creed resurrects music

By JAMIE VERWYS Where were you when critically acclaimed rock geniuses Creed unleashed their monumental single, “With Arms Wide Open”? Ask any true music aficionado this question, and not only can they tell you the exact spot, they can tell you how many times they listened to it on repeat. “I remember I was flipping […]

Local rapper brings heart back to beat

Local rapper brings heart back to beat

By SEBASTAIN BARAJAS Local hip-hop artist and fashion enthusiast Preez Magnificent, 23, tailors his music to fans but stays true to his tune. From his humble border-town beginnings in Bisbee to the lyrical crusade he undertook to promote love, and protest SB 1062, this rapper knows words can be double-edged. “Yo, words can be used […]

Arizona governor changes tune

Arizona governor changes tune

By DAVID J. DEL GRANDE Arizona governor Jan Brewer has decided to resign from her position, effective immediately. Brewer was sworn into her governorship January 2009 after Janet Napolitano resigned in order to become the Secretary of Homeland Security. Brewer has apparently mimicked her predecessor but in a contrasting pursuit of a music career. “I’m […]

APRIL FOOLS’ BY THE NUMBERS

APRIL FOOLS’ BY THE NUMBERS

Compiled by Shana Rose 1392* Year of first April Fools’ Day 800** Number of deaths caused annually by pranks gone wrong 112* Fake body parts purchased annually for pranks $7,000* Annual amount spent for elaborate pranks 30** Percentage of people who quit their jobs as a prank 12** Percentage of women who use pregnancy as […]

HOROSCOPE

HOROSCOPE

By BRENDA PACHECO Virgo (Aug. 23- Sept.22) The Sun and Mercury will shine on you this month, bringing good career opportunities and more money your way. Don’t expect a date with a special someone anytime soon because you’re going to be booked. Libra (Sept. 23- Oct. 22) Your social life will be much more exciting […]

Top 10 ways to pass the (other) bar exam

Top 10 ways to pass the (other) bar exam

By ARLO COSTALES Want to avoid being kicked out of a bar? Here are my top 10 suggestions for actions to stay away from: 1. Breaking bottles. If you break your beverage’s container, your bartender can be nice and give you a new drink or you may be shit-out-of-luck and must buy a new one. […]

THINGS I DON’T GIVE A S&*! ABOUT: I can’t go to hell, because it doesn’t exist

THINGS I DON’T GIVE A S&*! ABOUT: I can’t go to hell, because it doesn’t exist

By MYLO ERICKSON Something that really gets to me is religion, and the organization of it. Religion has some good ideas, but it gets out of hand once groups of people get involved. They start going after each other because the other group doesn’t believe in their “true God” or because someone just doesn’t believe. […]

TOP 10 Movies that need to be remade

TOP 10 Movies that need to be remade

By THOMAS F. JOHNSON Remakes. We’re all sick of how they mangle the message of the movies they copy, such as turning Klaatu from “The Day The Earth Stood Still” from Space Jesus into a space asshole. Here are 10 films that deserve a second chance. 10. “Demoni” The original “Demoni” was an OK zombie […]

Top 10 birthday plans in December

Top 10 birthday plans in December

By RYAN TSARSIS   If you’re like me and have a birthday near the holiday season, your birthday may seem like an ordinary day to pass the time away as you wait for New Years.   Some of you may relish receiving double the gifts as your peers and family members, while others may feel […]

CRACKING WISE: Don’t ‘Occupy’ my backyard

CRACKING WISE: Don’t ‘Occupy’ my backyard

By DAVID MENDEZ As I write this, I realize that one of the following may have occurred by the time the newspaper hits newsstands: 1.) Occupy Wall Street and its brethren will have made an indelible impact on society and everyone will have returned to their homes as heroes of a new generation; 2.) Occupiers […]