National Rifle Association gunning for PCC

By NICHOLAS TRUJILLO

In a chaotic world where schools often are the target of gun violence, one group is taking matters into its own cold hands.

The National Rifle Association is the unlikely candidate to have a hand in helping end violence. The group plans to buy out Pima Community College properties to turn into gun ranges where teachers can train.

“It’s—- about the teachers and the kids,” Wayne LaPierre said. “We are hoping that this will combat gun violence in schools, while also getting our teachers ready for a possible career in the military.”

According to the intergroup agreement between PCC and the NRA, the college soon will see reconstruction in Fall 2020 on both the East and Northwest campuses.

“This is accordance with my North Star idea,” said Pima Chancellor Lee Lambert. “I want students to feel safe and have the security of both education and their lives. This will give us the opportunity to repurpose the different properties.”

The NRA has offered Pima $1.5 million to lease both properties. A fraction of that will be used to upgrade classrooms and labs, while the majority will be given to the  enrollment and advertising services, according to a press release.

Students feel that the way the money will be spent should be reconsidered. In the press release, however, the chancellor urged that this is the only path to increase enrollment and boost headcount.

“If Pima is going to get $1.5 million dollars, then why is more not going to us students?” student Faye Kinnitt asked. “I don’t like the way that money isn’t going to the students; it’s ridiculous.”

While believable the Aztec Press has made up everything, in honor of April Fools.

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