Aztec Horoscope


Aries (March 21 – April 19): Don’t question it. Just go with it; there might be a surprise. It’s up to you to like it or not.

Taurus (April 20 – May 21): Stop being so stubborn. Just go with the flow — what’s the worst that can happen?

Gemini (May 22 – June 21): Whatever you do with your life, don’t turn out like your mother. Sincerely, everyone.

Cancer (June 22 – July 23): You might think it’s about all about you, little do you know it’s not.

Leo (July 24 – Aug. 23): Get over it, you know it’s over. It’s dead, let it die. Don’t go chasing after them, they’ll only hurt you again.

Virgo (Aug. 24 – Sept. 22): Watch yourself young blood, the bad mojo is coming. There’s no telling when it’s going to hit, just know when it does it’s going to hurt, a lot.

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22): Bruh, good luck!

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21): Continue to be that slippery, smart snake you know you can be. Slither your way through anything and everything.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21): Forget the stresses of life — they’re not worth it. Sit down with some FIFA, Skittles and your favorite beer.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19): It’s happening, it’s finally here. Just sit tight — all good things come in time.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18): Just trust the process. No matter how bad a start, it’s about how you finish.

Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20): If you want to ho out, go ho out. Don’t let a soul stop you from being your ho self.

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