Day: April 1, 2018

Trump suffers from STD

April 1, 2018

By ERIC TEEL In a revelation sending shockwaves through the corridors of Washington, leaked medical records from Trump’s personal physician have confirmed that the president suffers from advanced neurosyphilis. The documents show that the president contracted the sexually transmitted disease in 2009 while he was in Ukraine to judge the annual Miss Teen Ukraine pageant. […]

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National Rifle Association gunning for PCC

April 1, 2018

By NICHOLAS TRUJILLO In a chaotic world where schools often are the target of gun violence, one group is taking matters into its own cold hands. The National Rifle Association is the unlikely candidate to have a hand in helping end violence. The group plans to buy out Pima Community College properties to turn into […]

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Little Pima on the prairie

April 1, 2018

By MICHELLE TRUJILLO Over the past year, Pima Community College has developed an uncontrollable infestation of the Cynomys gunnisoni. They are small herbivorous rodents that burrow in the ground and are better known as prairie dogs. Prairie dogs have been spotted by students around all six campuses. Students even have witnessed the cute but damaging […]

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Pima arms staff following Trump’s directions

April 1, 2018

By NORA THOMPSON Pima instructors are strapped and loving it. In light of recent mass shootings, the only logical option is to pass out military-grade assault rifles to underpaid educators with no formal training. “I can’t wait to get strapped. When a kid misbehaves I’m just gonna go grattatatstatatatatata,” said Janice Anderson, an adjunct math […]

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