Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

It’s your time of the month: adventure time! Life is for the living, so live it loud and don’t shy away from uncharted experiences coming your way.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Breathe life into what your heart desires, Aries. Pilot your way to great happiness and don’t let doubt hinder your progress.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

April showers bring May flowers! You’ve cried your last tears, Taurus. Put away the tissues and “The Notebook” and let the sun shine in!

Gemini (May 21-June 21)

Spring is coming. Time to clean out those closets and dash out to buy yourself a little happy, Carrie Bradshaw. You’ll be glad you did.

Cancer (June 22-July 22)

It hasn’t been easy for you lately but fret not, Cancer dear. A cosmic shift shows positive energy and light coming your way. Just in the nick of time, the tables are turning ‘round. Thank your lucky stars!

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

This comes out of complete love from me to you: You’ve had enough. Those holiday pounds aren’t going to shed themselves. “Friends” taught us well: “A moment on the lips, forever on the hips!”

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

“What did you just call me?” Don’t sweat the small stuff, Virgo. We both know you’re above petty squabbling. When in doubt, don’t — unless cake is involved. Then annihilate all in your path.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

You have a secret admirer just waiting for you to jump the gun. Your best bet is to go over-the-top and profess your attraction as well. Nothing says “I like you” more than a parade in his or her honor, an island or an iPhone 5S. Heed my words!

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

“Intense” is an understatement to describe you right now, Scorpio. Scale it back, smell the tulips and walk with a bit more sway in your step. Take it from Jamaica and just be easy, mon.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Don’t listen to a single thing Gemini or Pisces have to say. They have the savvy of an acid neutralizing substance: basic. If they read this, plead the fifth and distract them with something shiny

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Biggest rule in fashion: Take off at least one expendable item before leaving the house. So, Capricorn, go home, take off the whole outfit and give it another try. Look up “busted” in the dictionary while you’re at it. XOXO.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You were given a reading last issue, Aquarius. Stop being so needy! I can’t always be bothered to give you life advice and whatnot. I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T. Do you know what that means?


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