THINGS I DON’T GIVE A S&*! ABOUT News flash: Car people are nerds

By MYLO ERICKSON

One thing I get tired of hearing is, “What kind of car you drive, bro?”

Now I’m flattered you’re showing interest in what I bring to the table, but that is one thing I truly do not care about.

I don’t give a damn about cars. As long as the thing can get me from point A to point B, that is good enough for me.

If someone is going to judge me based on the type of car I drive, to hell with them.

When I hear people talk about their cars, they may as well be speaking a foreign language.

I know that cars are supposed to be a guy thing. If you are a true man, you at least have an interest.

That wasn’t the case with me. My memories of trying to work on cars with my dad involved cursing and beer.

One time I had to drive my dad to the store to pick up another six-pack of beer just so he could finish working on his car.

Another thing that gets to me is that car people don’t consider themselves nerds.

I’ll inform you guys now: You are, and will always be, nerds, geeks or dweebs — whichever term you prefer.

Let’s examine the similarities between car people and gamers.

Gamers have guide and instruction books, car people have instruction manuals and guide books. Games and cars both have collectors’ editions, and they both have expansions.

Obsession with cars just doesn’t make sense to me. People try to make their car look awesome, but for months they leave it that beautiful primer color.

Or they add the exhaust that makes their car sound like a little motorcycle. Don’t get me started on those sporty motorcycles. They are nothing but overpriced vibrators.

Back to the main subject: I understand that different hobbies exist because people like different things. I just can’t stand that most car people think they are better than the other nerd classifications.

Just own up to it and let your geek flag fly.

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  1. MErickson says:

    Mr. Wheeler, first off I would like to thank you for taking the time to read the article and respond to it.

    In response to your comment, nerds and geeks are just people who obsess over their interests.

    Now other than subject matter I don’t see a difference. If you can just hear the roar from an engine and tell me what kind it is, how is that different from someone who hears a “Simpson” quote and can tell you what episode it’s from.

    If you’re going to try and tell me that one is better than the other, than that is true ignorance.

    Now I’m glad that you have a true passion for your hobby, which is good. People’s hobbies are their escapes from the world, which is true freedom.

    Now, I didn’t mean the term nerd as bad, so you can calm down Ogre, Lambda Lambda Lambda is not taking over.

    I’m a nerd as well and I have owned up to it and accepted it. I’m fine with who I am a fat, goofy looking guy.

    If you’re not comfortable being called a nerd, maybe its you that has some insecurities. Just let your geek flag fly man.

  2. David M. says:

    Auto enthusiast, let’s be real here: Using superfluous language to support an argumentative position does not necessarily award you victory in said argument.

    You’re a nerd, plain and simple. You have a passion for cars. You watch Top Gear. That’s cool, dude. So do I.

    But to claim that Mr. Erickson has no idea what he’s talking about regarding nerds is straight-up bonkers. Nerds are passionate, loving and borderline obsessive in their pursuits. Someone who describes driving as a “gateway to the world” certainly fits that description.

    So go ahead, claim that you aren’t a nerd. But the next time you’re hanging out with your fellow petrol-heads drooling over the Bugatti Veyron, or holding your breath as you torrent the latest episode of Top Gear next year, think very carefully about what you’re doing…then realize that you might have been whinging about something that’s actually correct, you pillock.

  3. One Very Irate Motoring Enthusiast says:

    Thank you, Mr. Mylo, for this incredibly unintelligent rant about a subject which you are obviously incapable of comprehending. I agree that not everyone should care about cars, just as much as everyone should not have to care about flowers, the weather, and etc. But to say that “Petrol Heads” are “Nerds” or “Dweebs” is not only offensive, but a complete waffling of the true idea of the great American love affair with the automobile.
    Cars have changed our world so much that you can no longer relate to someone alive just a century ago. Cars are engineering marvels, pieces of rolling art(some), members of your family, and, in many cases, an extension of yourself. Your car is your gateway to the world (much more than public transportation). A car offers freedom; freedom to hit the open road and wander the planet at speeds that were only dreamed of by our forefathers. To say that cars are uninteresting and to take interest in them makes one a “Dork” or a “Geek” is outrageous.
    I have a right to indulge my passion for automobiles without being ridiculed by a cad such as yourself Mr. Mylo. I am not a “Nerd” because I take interest in a machine. How typically American of you to mock those of us whom applaud a finely crafted automobile. You are basically ranting against well over half of the Engineering Students here at PCC. What’s next? A rant making fun of Pre-Med students for taking an interest in the human body?
    I think that I speak for everyone when I say that I am tired of your ludicrous statements that go nowhere just so that you can hide your own insecurities. So, please, the next time you think of opening your mouth, do sod off.
    (PS: Just because your Dad was too drunk to work on your family car, does not make you an authority on automotive enthusiasts)

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