Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Do something interesting with your boring routine, Scorpio. Find something that is just right for you, if there is anything. You’re not sweet, but you’re not mean. You’re not the best monster fighter, either.


Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec 21)

Stop trying to be a ghost, Sagittarius. We can all see you and we know it’s been you the whole time. You are so irritating that I need to use allergy medication whenever you’re around.


Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan 19)

Anyone can tell jokes but you are just extremely lost in this area, Capricorn. Update yourself … now! Get yourself on the right path, too. Start by quitting your bad habits. Not everyone likes you.


Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

You can become whatever you dream of being, Aquarius. First, though, quit eating so much sugar. You’re becoming addicted. Besides, superheroes don’t eat that much candy. Start by getting the sugar-free options.


Pisces (Feb.19-March 20)

Big deal, you lost your candy bag. I do feel sorry for you, Pisces, but you’re spending too much time thinking about what happened. Don’t blame yourself for what you don’t have.


Aries (March 21-April 19)

Don’t be a crybaby, Aries. Sometimes you have to run away from monsters. And remember, November is around the corner. There are always people who will remind you about how silly you looked the night before.


Taurus (April 20-May 20)

I’m tired of all your drama, Taurus. It’s time to be strong and put your feet in the ground. Don’t forget your box of Kleenex, because you might need it. Remember, it’s OK if you cry.


Gemini (May 21-June 21)

It’s time to control yourself and show others that you’re in college now, Gemini. Come back to reality and enjoy all the sweets. But leave your little sister’s treats alone. Dress up in a costume, and go get some for yourself.


Cancer (June 22- July 22)

Don’t use a costume for Halloween, Cancer. Your face is scary enough. If you entered it into a contest, you would win. Change your attitude, too. Eating lots of candy won’t make you any sweeter.


Leo (July 23- Aug. 22)

I thought you said that you were not afraid of anything, Leo. Why are you hiding under the table? Relax: They’re only little children doing a traditional thing called trick or trick.


Virgo (Aug. 23- Sept. 22)

Why is it taking you so much time to decide which costume to wear for Halloween, Virgo? Just be yourself, and don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. This is your night to show others who you really are.


Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

If you never go outside on a Halloween night, you’ll never discover what people really think of you, Libra. This is a great opportunity to find out. Maybe you’ll want an image change, however, because you really need it.

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