By THOMAS F. JOHNSON
Remakes. We’re all sick of how they mangle the message of the movies they copy, such as turning Klaatu from “The Day The Earth Stood Still” from Space Jesus into a space asshole.
Here are 10 films that deserve a second chance.
The original “Demoni” was an OK zombie film with zombies possessed by demons. The premise and setup is excellent, but I’d love to see a remake with more diverse and creative creature designs.
9. “The Thief and the Cobbler”
This labor of love for animator Roger Williams was sadly snatched from his arms at the last second by the Weinsteins and recut into a sub-par Aladdin ripoff. Just hire a new crew to re-finish this, and you’ve got a classic on your hands for very little money.
8. “Damnation Alley”
This movie was a cheesy road trip/post-apocalypse movie. Though it flopped, it was based on a far more interesting and ambitious book. Since CGI has advanced well beyond the point needed to deliver the book’s garbage-filled winds and enormous mutated monsters, why not give it a second chance?
7. “Felix The Cat: The Movie”
This early ‘90s film was a confusing representation of one of animation’s first iconic heroes. He deserves another shot at film stardom.
6. “Neon Maniacs”
A movie with 12 unique slashers in one? Cool! This movie using that premise? Not so much. This concept deserves to be made with a better budget, a script that uses the premise well and a coherent explanation as to what the hell those monsters were.
5. “Shock Treatment”
This little-known, little-liked sequel to “Rocky Horror Picture Show” was severely compromised due to budget issues. Why not remake the film right, using the original script? Better yet, make a true Rocky Horror sequel, “Rocky Horror Shows His Heels.”
4. “Cool World”
What was going to be a dark, disturbing animated horror/live-action hybrid film by Ralph Bakshi instead turned into a watered-down, smutty Roger Rabbit clone. We rarely see animated horror films, and this one could be profitable. Why not a remake in accordance with Bakshi’s original vision?
3. “Last Action Hero”
This movie couldn’t decide whether it was a parody or a deconstruction of its own subject matter. That is a real shame, as the idea of a film set in the world of film is a great idea, enough so to warrant a new and improved remake
2. “Howard The Duck”
While this movie is indeed awful, it has little to nothing to do with the excellent source material. The comic written by the late Steve Gerber was a lot more satirical, smart and funny. The Marvel cinematic universe could use a comedy.
1. “Super Mario Bros.”
A shoe-in for the top spot, the original film was decent on its own merits but a horrible adaptation of videogaming’s greatest hero. It could become a big franchise in the hands of somebody like Spielberg or DelToro. Nintendo should give it a second shot. We need at least one good videogame move.