THINGS I DON’T GIVE A S%*! ABOUT Fashion faux pas hoopla

By MYLO ERICKSON

 

Fashion has never made sense to me, as I like to dress comfortably in my typical T-shirt and shorts.

 

That’s how it should be: Wear what’s comfortable and makes you feel good. Don’t wear clothes just because they have a high price tag or were designed by someone whose name you can’t even pronounce.

 

Extravagant fashion shows always display some ridiculous clothing line that I have never seen anybody wear.

 

This may be because I’m not on the high end of society, but I don’t want to be if I have to wear bullshit like that.

 

Granted I’m a guy (arguably), and most fashion for men is pretty standard. Designers come up with some truly hideous outfits for women.

 

Fashion marks a third reason I’m glad to be a guy. The other two are not having to give birth and being able to piss where I want to with ease.

 

Checking out “fashion” magazines online, I noticed tons of outfits that should never see the light of day. One example: a blue pantsuit with purple circles all over it. The outfit had both a maroon collar and a white polka-dotted tie tucked into the model’s pants to accent the bland brown belt.

 

The outfit was tailored by someone called Miu Miu. Sorry, I’m not up to date on my fashion artists.

 

If I was in the position of hiring employees and some young lady walked into my office wearing this pantsuit, I would have to reschedule her interview. I would tell her to wear something different so I could take her seriously.

 

A quick click away was an outfit called “Night Vision” by Gareth Pugh. Surprisingly, that’s someone else I haven’t heard of.

 

The outfit is clearly for stalkers. The black leather or faux leather jacket extends up to cover the bottom half of your face, making it hard to identify you. It looks like something that notorious murderer/body snatcher Ed Gein would create.

 

Oh yeah, it also had matching black pants. That makes it easy to see you crossing the street at night.

 

A quick side question: Why does every model have that blank stare? You know, the look that lets you know there is absolutely nothing going on behind her eyes.

 

Anyway, back to my point: People should wear what makes them feel comfortable. They should not worry whether it has a designer name on it or was endorsed by some celebrity who’s getting paid to wear it.

 

But hey, people do what they want and honestly I don’t give a shit. I’m just tired of having it pushed down my throat.

Filed Under: Arts/Entertainment

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