Horoscope

By APRIL GEORGE

aztecpress@pima.edu

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

Have some fun over Spring Break. If you can’t afford to go out of town, make your own vacation! A friend’s house works just as well, and if you’re old enough to drink, go for it! (I’m not promoting underage drinking here, sorry!)

Aries (March 21April 19)Do some public karaoke. I just did some over the weekend and it was quite exhilarating. It’s definitely a good way to get over that fear of public speaking you have.
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
You can’t always rely on me to decide your luck. Go make your own. Oh, and relax over Spring Break. It’s your time to unwind. I won’t be working, why should you? Unless you have a job, of course. On second thought, I’ll be working on finding one of those.
Gemini (May 21-June 21)
Your family didn’t like seeing you? Hmm. Go back to the twin. They told me they missed you while you were gone.
Cancer (June 22-July 22)
Have a non-alcoholic drink on me. You’re doing really great this semester. But I won’t buy you booze because I have no way of knowing if you’re actually old enough. Sorry, but the same rule I used with Pisces applies.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
Try something creative while you’re on Spring Break. You can borrow my muse. I’m sick and tired of him. No, really. He gives me nothing but grief.

 

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept.22)
You, however, should focus less on partying and creativity and more on school. You need to get your act together if you want to pass your trigonometry test. Use your Spring Break wisely, but don’t get overworked.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Don’t be so shy. You need to come out of your shell more often. People really like you, but you don’t ever give them a chance to say so. What are you afraid of?
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
OK, OK, I’ll be nice to you. For now. Take yourself to a spa or something and treat yourself. You deserve it. Oh, and help me make fun of the new Billy Mays. He’s a tool.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
You need to help Scorpio with making fun of new Billy Mays. While you’re at it, look up “So What” by Pink. You’ll laugh.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
Every issue you look to me for advice. Why do you put up with my abuse? You’re better than that, you know. Over Spring Break, try something new. I recommend getting off Facebook and actually seeing your friends.

 

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Last but not least, do something besides study. You’re going to pass your midterm, so relax over Spring Break. Go spend some time with your family, or at least your friends.

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