CRACKING WISE: I’m too young for marriage


I’m getting to that age when I’m starting to see a good number of my peers, both from high school and college, getting married and having kids — legitimate ones, mind you. None of this “out of wedlock in high school” nonsense that’s so popular on MTV shows these days.

I can see the benefits: You have a dedicated physical partner, your best friend is by your side at all times and there’s a nice tax break.

Not to mention the free cake, videos of your family dancing and the appliances re-gifted to you at the wedding.

Honestly, I just don’t see much of a reason to settle down this early.

Shoot, I can barely understand getting married as a result of a broken condom and a difficult conversation. (“Are you sure you’re not just a LITTLE bit pregnant? Maybe that test was wrong. Eighth time is the charm, right?”)

It’s not that I’ve been given a bad example. My parents have been married going on 25 years and they were about my age when they did it.

Maybe I’m soured on the idea because of a bad gamble on a previous relationship or maybe I’m just pessimistic. Maybe I’m too lazy to teach someone else how to find things in my room.

I think it really comes down to the fact that I don’t know who I am yet. I don’t think anyone at this age really does. I don’t feel like I can commit to someone to such an extent and I’m not going to try.

The world is littered with tales of woe that start that way, all of which you can see on daytime talk shows.

I congratulate my friends who have found that someone and found themselves, and I wish them all the best.

Personally, I’m going to stick with just having a girlfriend. I’ll keep figuring out who I am and who I want to be when I grow up. The options so far are between Hank Moody from “Californication” and Batman. I’ll also try to keep up with this writing thing.

It’s a better idea than getting someone pregnant. I’m too old to get a reality show on MTV.

One thought on “CRACKING WISE: I’m too young for marriage”

  1. Great article – marriage and parenting is definitely not something to rush into…These days 30 or so is fine

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